Actual Signs Page 6

~*~
PAGE 6
AND YET STILL MORE
SIGNS OF THE TIMES
~ Actual signs as reported ~
~*~

Lost,
Brown leather suitcase,
by little old lady with
brown leather handles

An Ad in classified newspaper

On a truck owned
by a company that
erects steel buildings

LET US HELP YOU WITH YOUR NEXT ERECTION

On a food vendor
in the Delta Airlines Terminal
at JFK airportin NY

Chocolates, Candies,
Edibles

An Italian restaurant in
Pleasantville, NY which makes
home deliveries in vans
(Translation: wedges are
subs, submarines sandwiches
on long thick rolls)

We deliver pizza,
food, and wedges

In a beauty shop window

~*~

Hairstyling by
William Baldi

~*~

In bridal shop window

~*~

WEDDING DRESSES FOR SALE
~ ALL OCCASIONS ~

~*~

SO MANY CATS
AND
SO FEW RECIPES

Bumper sticker

THOU SHALT NOT PARK

Sign on a street in front of a church

NEVER MIND
THE DOG,
BEWARE
OF THE OWNER

On a front gate

REPORT
ALL LEAKS

In a building on the UCLA
campus there are signs
over all urinals in the
men's room

In the Red Dog Saloon in Juno, Alaska:

If our food, drinks and service aren't up
to your standards,
please lower your standards

Church Parking lot sign
near a popular shopping
area says

NO PARKING
SINNERS WILL BE TOWED!

On the side of a cesspool truck

YOUR ---- IS OUR
BREAD AND BUTTER

YOU MAKE IT,
WE TAKE IT

On the side of the same
cesspool truck

Why walk around half-alive
For $950 we can bury you

At a Mortuary

MINORS UNDER 21 YEARS OF AGE WILL NOT BE SERVED

Official NJ State Liquor
Authority sign for all
establishments that
serve alcoholic liquor
(I've never met
a MINOR over 21)

CATS NEUTERED_ $25.00
DOGS___________ $50.00
SENIORS _____ half-price

At a Veterinary Clinic

~ VASECTOMY ~
NEVER HAVING TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY!

Bumper sticker

PARADISE HOTEL
1 KM.

Outside a village cemetery in Turkey

BE AN ORGAN DONOR,
GIVE YOUR HEART TO JESUS!

In front of church
near Lititz, PA

FREE TRIPS
TO HEAVEN
INQUIRE WITHIN

A local church, in
Feasterville Pennsylvania,
on their outdoor
announcement board

On a propane
tank place

TANK HEAVEN FOR
LITTLE GRILLS

We have the best erections in town

Sign on construction truck

WE CATER WEDDINGS

On the side of are garbage truck

BE TRUE TO YOUR TEETH
OR THEY WILL BE FALSE TO YOU

VISUALIZE USING YOUR
BUMPER STICKER

Bumper sticker

Radio ad of drug store

IF WE DON'T HAVE IT,
YOU DON'T NEED IT,
BUT IF YOU WANT IT,
WE'LL GET IT FOR YOU.

In the Bahamas at on
a tour to a fishing spot

Please don't drop your cigarette butts on the ground, our fish come out at night and smoke them and we are trying to get them to quit

HANG UP
AND DRIVE.

On a car rear window

Satisfaction guaranteed
or double your trash back

On a garbage
company truck

In a convenience store
on the door
of the women's restroom

Jobs Available!
Flexible hours
Great pay
Good benefits
APPLY INSIDE

Bubba's Burgers
We relish your buns

In Ouahu

I never get lost,
everyone tells me
where to go.

On a car rear window

You Bend 'em
We Mend 'em

At a auto body
repair shop

Lawnmower shop
in Oklahoma City

Free lawnmower
with purchase
of cup of coffee
Coffee: $125.00

In an Auto Parts Store

HELEN BACK IS IN CHARGE OF OUR CREDIT DEPT.
~*~
SO IF YOU ARE SEEKING CREDIT
GO TOO HELEN BACK!

Sign advertising a
service station/cafe in Texas

Eat, Gas,
Clean Restrooms

On the interstate

Georgia state line
exactly 12.87 miles,
more or less

CRISP COON
FUNERAL PARLOR

In front of a funeral / crematory home,
in Florida

WATCH YOUR STEP

Outside of Warren County Courthouse, Front Royal, VA.

Make sure you see all the ACTUAL SIGNS and MORE ACTUAL SIGNS
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"Tijuana Taxi"
Sequencer Don Carroll