Actual Signs Page 4

~*~
PAGE 4
YET STILL MORE
SIGNS OF THE TIMES
~ Actual signs as reported ~
~*~

If your wife can't cook-
don't divorce her
Keep her for a pet
and eat here!

At a roadside diner

At a small restaurant

Our ham sandwiches
are made from pigs
that made hogs
of themselves.

At a Funeral home

In our profession you don't have to like flowers,
They'll soon grow on you.

In Minnesota,
outside a restaurant
located by a big water dam

The Best Place to Eat
by a Dam Site

On a fence of a house

Jehovah's Beware..
Catholic Dog

In a dry cleaner

~*~

DIRTY CLOTHES ARE NOT BECOMING YOU.
THEY OUGHT TO BE COMING HERE.

~*~

NO TICKEE,
NO SHIRTY

In a dry cleaner

NO MONEY
LAUNDRYING HERE,
PLEASE EMPTY YOUR
POCKETS

In a dry cleaner

FOR LIFE'S LITTLE PROBLEMS,
VISIT OUR HEMORRHOID CLINIC

Old sign on billboard
in PA

We cheat the other guy
and pass the savings
on to you

In Chicoot Charlie's Bar
in Anchorage, AK

In a Restaurant

In Taoist temple in Beijing, China

Please do not spit everywhere

On marquee of Seattle Jewish Community Center

Hebrew Yoga Self-Defense Classes

NO EXIT

FIRE ESCAPE

On the same door
at a pancake shop

Eventually Yours

At funeral parlor

NO
BEACH
ACCESS
PERMITTED
VEHICLES
ONLY

A posted sign on an upgrade bathing beach in NJ.

ANNUAL BOARD MEMBERS BANQUET
SATURDAY, MARCH 4TH
HAY AND STRAW AVAILABLE

In Georgetown, Ky.
on the marquee
of a Farm Supply
Business.

Time Wounds All Heels!

On a shoe-repair shop

Do you know what
color your car is?
Let us wash it
so you can tell.

At our local car wash

NO
PARKING
Towing Enforced

Don't Even
THINK
You
Are Going
To
Park Here!

Two signs right next
to each other
at the grocery store
parking lot

Baptist Church
A. Little, Pastor

On a sign in a small town in Wisconin
the Pastor of the local Baptist church
was named Arlo Little,
he was a very short man.
On the church sign it said

In front of a church

Know Jesus ..... Heaven
No Jesus .............. Hell

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your rubbish back

On a private trash
pickup service's truck

You must be able
to read English
in order to sit in this row

At the emergency exit row of an airplane

Vendors Welcome!!
With a $50.00 cover charge

Our credit manager is Hellen Pay
If you want credit
Go To Hellen Pay

A bumper sticker
on a company repair truck

GET YOUR NUTS
OFF WITH
SNAP ON TOOLS

On a garbage truck
in Sudbury MA

We'd Love
to get our hands
on your can

Now hiring
losers c

A sign outside a Taco Bell
to advertise that they were hiring.
It was supposed to say "Now hiring closers" but the "c" had fallen off.

Seven Days Without A Slice Of Our Pizza, Makes One Weak

In front of a pizzeria
in Utica, MI.

In Bradford County, PA
at a restaurant

T-Bone 50 cents,
with meat $8.95

Keep honking,
I'm reloading.

A bumper sticker on a car

Preserve wildlife,
throw a party.

At the zoo

Were sorry if you were
clearly miss-understood,
it happens

At a store

On a store front

If your clock doesn't tick,
tock to us.

In a auto repair shop

Cash, Visa, Mastercard and checks
gladly accepted for repairs.
If you will be needing credit
please go to Helen Waite

On the truck and shop
sign of the
Hoist and Jack Repair
in Freeport, New York

WE CAN HELP YOU
GET IT UP

With a photo of a man
smashing a toaster oven
to pieces
an electrician had a slogan

Streifert Electric
If we can't fix it,
we'll fix it
so nobody else can!

We weld anything
except the crack of dawn
and a broken heart.

At a welding shop
In Pearl, Ms.

We are the last ones
to let you down

At a Funeral Home

If you got em
floss em

In window of dentist office

Make sure you see all the ACTUAL SIGNS and MORE ACTUAL SIGNS
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"Brown Eyed Girl"
Sequencer Steve Day